?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Insurrection X

Oppose Tyranny Online

3/9/07 06:27 am - nebet_het - It is time. . .

I don't even know where to begin. . .

Pouring out my thoughts on the OTO. . . I was going to cut this but I want people to read this so no, I'm not going to hide it behind a cut!

I was a solitary pagan/wiccan for many years when I was finally introduced to Liber Al, and subsequently Thelema. I picked up Gerald's New Aeon Magick and found it refreshing and when I actually met him and the other local OTO members I was happily surprised to find a group that actually supported independent thinking and practice as opposed to the neo-feminazi wiccan groups I had previously encountered where only "womyn and children" were welcome. Just NOT MY SCENE. I spent close to 6 months just hanging out and attending groups/forums/rituals with these folks before I decided to take initation. My experiences back then were awesome. I had found a like-minded group of magickians who were more than happy to let me contribute my knowledge and experience in many areas as well as allowing me to gain experience in other areas. All of this would be enthusiastically supported and welcomed and in some form be rewarded. I helped to prepare large events, cooked food for feasts, wrote poetry for invocations, priestessed in the Gnostic Mass numerous times, stage managed and designed lighting, rented said lighting and set it up and worked the shows numerous times and never got around to turning in labor invoices (lesson learned!) to be reimbursed because I was doing what I loved for people and an organization I loved.

Within the next couple of years things changed. I got a job that impeded me from attending a lot of events and I got bogged down and fell behind on some of my duties for the local lodge. I kept doing the one thing I could do that didn't require my actual attendance. Then I was passive-aggressively asked to "step down" from the position I had because I wasn't around as much. I responded that I wanted to keep doing my position because it was a way for me to keep connected to the lodge even if I could not actually be present. I was then finally given the real reason; I was not paying local monthly dues and as a "lodge officer" I needed to set an "EXAMPLE"; which I basically looked at as money that could go to SML or cover 4 packs of smokes. I was desperately broke all the time then and I HAD to put things in that perspective. I was really upset that all the past work and effort I had put into the lodge would be so easily put aside. However instead of pushing my case I just said ok, let someone who IS paying local dues go ahead and take over. It was shortly after that I decided not to attend events much at all unless I got in for free or for labor. Then they changed the policies and labor no longer would count for the events, you could accrue labor vouchers at an event but you couldn't apply them to that same event. I was actuallly ASKED to help out with one event but still expected to pay for a ticket and any drinks after spending 5 hours setting up and decorating for it.

Yeah, that's all bitchy little stuff.

I also have a problem with changes that have been made to initiations. And since I am only 3rd degreee, who knows what else has been bastardized and "changed for safety and liability reasons"? I apparently was one of the last to experience 2nd degree as it was intended. I've taken officer training and have seen/been taught the "new safer method" which was then subsequently changed again to make it even safer. I've seen the implementation of the "liability forms" that are now required for EACH and EVERY initiation. At first I thought, you know the OTO is being smart and proactive. Yeah, um. . . sure.

I'm actually getting teared up right now thinking about some of the amazing OTO experiences I have had but more and more I find myself wondering what happened to that OTO?
Yeah, Gerald threated on and off again to quit so it wasn't a surprise, but the actions against TAG and now John and who knows who is next. The support statement last summer for Sabazius made me feel ill. It just reiterated something I'd been throwing out for awhile.

I DID NOT JOIN "THELEMA INCORPARATED", I JOINED A MYSTICAL OCCULT FRATERNITY DAMMIT!

I know dues are important to any fraternal society and yes, the Masons have very expensive dues, but you get what you pay for and I feel like I put a helluva lot of my money time and effort into something only to be dismissed because I couldn't pony up a monthly fee on top of everything. Hate me if you will, call me whatever, I really don't know what to think of the current direction or the leadership.

HOWEVER, I will continue to do PM work until someone decides otherwise because I believe in it. I have seen the results of that work and having actually done a Gnostic Mass in a prison I know it is needed. I've talked to these guys who have very little outlet for their beliefs and what we do IS IMPORTANT! These people are only given a few chances to turn themselves around and if Thelema does it then why are there so many states (including my own I think) where our holy book is forbidden? Fear, ignorance, intolerance. . .
I swore an oath on Dec. 29th, 2000 to fight superstition and tyranny. For a while I thought I was doing just that. Now I wonder if instead I was actually funding the very things I swore to oppose.

This hurts. It hurts to think about and write these things. But the time has come. And yes, I'm leaving this public because people need to know.
I love my brothers and sisters in the order and yes, they are my "chosen family" but the current OTO disgusts me. I have not paid dues for about 3 years now. I could have paid my past dues and probably paid to take my IV/PI too at one point but I didn't. I kept thinking about it but I didn't. Something held me back and I'm only just beginning the process of understanding what my subconcious obviously knew long before I did.

Oddly enough, the one thing I really miss is priestessing the Gnostic Mass. Once you get it in your blood it never goes away! It is addictive and I really miss it. Sometimes I find myself reciting parts in the shower because I don't want to forget the beauty of it. Too bad the EGC has basically become the the frakkin' Catholic church! But that is a whole other rant and journal entry that would be better written by someone with more experience with it than me.

If you have read through this, thank you. Regardless of your agreement it is appreciated.

11/13/06 08:32 pm - tristan_moore

Do you think John Crow should be expelled from Ordo Templi Orientis for his public cricisms?
Go here for more information.

Go here for the poll.

8/23/06 06:26 pm - nebet_het - Sharing some of my recent posts

The 2 excerpts from public posts on my lj reflect my heart and mind:

Aug. 12, 2006
Ultimately, I have been developing an attitude more or less along the lines of this:
I may disagree with Bushco, even love to see him step down or be impeached but I am still an American. I realize this analogy does not necessarily encompass the differences in governmental style between US and OTO but I am not necessarily ready to resign just as I am not ready to renounce my citizenship. Gerald once told me to stick with it and not give up, keep asking the difficult questions and persevere. There are many wonderful brethren I am honored to know and I continue to count them as my "chosen family". There are still ongoing discussions and debate and I will support who I will, I will make decisions and act upon my own Will, not any other or out of any fear of any other.
I will know my own Will. I will do my own Will. I will rejoice in the Will of my God.

There is no God but Man.

I am alone, there is no God where I am.


Aug. 6th, 2006
I'm just saddened and sickened by what has taken place to TAG. I have a huge amount of respect for him and I did read his statement fully and I know he would not have said the things he did if there weren't valid reason. His service over the years is in my opinion beyond reproach and if he sees a serious problem, well then there likely is. I'm no high muckity muck just a lowly ol' MOE but his forced resignation is not sitting well with me. NO SIR, NOT. AT. ALL.

Would I be a good Thelemite if I toed the party line? If I blindly followed the leader without question?

I don't believe so for one fucking minute. So now comes the question, what to do? And does it really matter anyway?
What I do know is Thelema is more important to me than social currency. I lost faith in that a few years ago anyway. Do I stand behind the Oaths I have taken? You betcha. And you know what? The oaths I took will always be to MYSELF first and foremost. I know who my true brothers and sisters are and a number of them are not OTO brethren at all. The truth comes out when the shit hits the fan. I've seen it in my life over the last few years and learned very important and memorable lessons. I am a soldier of Thelema and have learned I don't need guns to battle this oppression. I just need to remember who I am and what is important for my life and my Will.



Feel free to comment, read other stuff on my lj, etc.

8/23/06 08:17 pm - tausirhasirim - A VOTE OF APPRECIATION

Whoever you are, I adore what you're doing.  I know you will protect privacy and I think you are brave to do this....and right to establish this group.  SILENCE=DEATH.
 

8/23/06 03:49 pm - rezist_tyranny - A Few Words of Support

I asked Bishop Allen Greenfield to share with me a some of the many letters of support he has recieved. Following are a few excerpts from those letters. I have of course removed any identifying information to protect the privacy of those concerned.

"Dear Allen,
93
I want to extend my support for the actions taken
against you. While I'm not sure of all the details, I
am outraged by this and refuse to allow these actions
to dominate the OTO. If there is anything I can do to
contribute, please let me know.
93 93/93"


"Brother T Allen Greenfield,
I am saddened by the news of what happened. I don't know the whole
story, but I find what I have pieced together to be depressing. You
were the initiating officer in both my minerval and Ist degree
initiations. To me, you have been the embodiment of what is good
about the Order in the (many) years I've been a member. It's very sad to
see this happen. I know, however, that you will continue to be an
illuminating force whether in the order or without...
Carry on, mighty Saladin."


"Thank you. For everything you've done and everything yet to come."


"93 Allen,
... Just wanted to let you know that I'm saddened and outraged at your suspension from the Order that you served faithfully for so long. In the long run, though, it's the Order's loss (which means it's really our loss)...
93 93/93"


"Dear Brother Allen,
Seems like the war is raging on several fronts these
days. I've been carefully reading all the posts in LJ
and of course I read your statement on the website a
long time ago, as I have it linked on my site too.

Let me say this, I consider you one of the very few
sane, sober-minded and reasoned individuals I've met
in the O.T.O. You are a true Scientific Illuminist (by
the way if you type this in google your name comes
first :) and one of the few rational occultists out
there. You always inspire me!
It is the greatest mistake this Order can make to let
people like you go instead of adhering to your very
constructive criticism.

Now I understand that the problems I saw here and the
reasons that made me decide to leave the Camp here are
not just a local dispute, they originate a lot higher
up the rank and perhaps are the desease that runs in
the whole Order. The fish indeed stinks from the head!

I am disgusted with it all and I am considering to
quit. Throughout my youth I've been a member of
several religious organisations, and the reasons that
made me quit each and every one of them were exactly
the hypocrisy, superstition and spiritual impotence of
the leaders. Unfortunately, I see this in the current
organisation I am in as well and I cannot stay any
longer.

Well, at the same time we're fighting here as well.
Again. Some of my friends are out there in Southern
Lebanon. People are getting killed. We all hope for
this to be over soon. Thankfully, Tel-Aviv is pretty
safe for now.

Stand firm! Be strong! You are a hero and a beacon for
many!"
Powered by LiveJournal.com